You once walked the halls of my home, bringing the sunlight and casting away the shadows that lurked. You drew the curtains and the world poured in and like a damn breaking it washed away my hibernating den. I felt free, not just any kind of free but a with a layer of power that was radiating my feelings, making me feel slightly invincible. Like tossing an apple confidently up and down needing nothing more that my grip, I knew the ball was in my court. But why does it always have to be that way? Knowing that you've got someone at their knees is such a great feeling. Before you stop reading and start judging my choice of words, - reflect.
It wasn't until I reached super-charge that I realized it was amazing to know that I have the potential to unleash a hazardous spell with just a few swift 'magic' codes on the controls. Now it'd be great if I actually knew which buttons to press in perfect sequence to commit ultimate damage. But perhaps that's why I never bothered to pause the game and check the control page. Is it because I'm impatient? Or am I subconsciously oblivious? Either way, until you've lost battle after a battle you're not going to learn your lesson. Take a step back, observe the masters and ask as many questions as you can but take only what you need young jedi for everyones journey starts and ends differently. Souly relying on the correct keys will not ensure your safe crossing nor will it guarantee your success to the other side (where the grass is greener - or so they say).
For no one learns to swim before they get into the water, it's just one of those things that you learn on the job.
Sometimes I do wonder what it'd be like to have all the tactics preloaded, shielding my path before I start the journey. Though I must say the ups and downs have been quite the roller coaster and I have been completely addicted to it, so why do I feel so repulsed by it now? Alright, perhaps the word repulsed is a little strong but it's the first word that came to mind. I mean, I've been smoking for 10 years, I've had my moments where I've wanted to quit, tried to quit and been "on a break" (mind you it lasted only a day or two) but with "the game" I've only just learned to play and already I feel like there's no trophy at the end of the level. Will I save Peach this time around? Will she run down from the castle as herself or just hop away as toggled troll? Because love seems so scarce these days, and if I know that it's not going to be till level 86 that I get to save the real her then why bother trying so damn hard now? Perhaps I just answered my own question and made a giant u-turn on my own opinion but here we are - the balance of thought. The ability to question and carve away at the one-way street, wandering off path in search of new light to shine on this very gray area.
Coming back to reality (reality - an even longer never-ending story that I'll never get around to) do I feel slightly love drained without the urge to fill up my cup because I know that it's just not going to happen any time soon? Or is it because I don't want to feel the emptiness of the day after tomorrow?
It's always the day after tomorrow when emptiness starts to crawl out from whats staring you in the face - rejection. Ouch. Just the word itself is painful to write, painful to read and definitely not easy on the eyes. I don't want to feel like I've worked so hard at a level, ran so far down a path only to find that it's a dead end. Not only do I have to walk with my tail between my legs all the way home but I have to face my "I told you so" self that chose to stay behind as it watched me walk the plank. Once again, you were right as I ran off hand in hand with denial on a one way ticket to heartbreak. It cost me a lot to get home, I lost my soul on the way not to mention I was robbed of my dignity.
Peach is fucked.
...for now.
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