It never fails to surprise me at how easily I fall.
Perhaps I bring it on myself? By caring for whoever I'm seeing in an exceeding way.
Being too nice, too considerate, thoughtful and generous to the point where my mind tricks me into believing things could be different from what they are now.
I'm obviously living untruths and allowing my blind soul to be swept away by the current. Putting my heart at risk of being drowned all over again.
It's like a temperamental snowball rolling down and hill and artificially stopping from time to time. But that doesn't mean it wont continue rolling down the moment it feels the sun shine again. Destined to indefinitely continue making the same mistakes on the same infinite mountain that makes it grow as gravity tries to bring it down to earth.
I realise now that I can't fake feelings, but I can withdraw them faster. When you're in my arms, you're my prioritized attention. But when you become my yesterday I've learned to throw out the heavy heart that I know today because tomorrow I'll take just that little extra care.
And like all great and terrible things in life - history always repeats itself.
....It's just a matter of whether or not you're a little more prepared this time around.
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