It was about 6 years ago when I first asked, What Is Love?
Here at 25, I would like to think I'd have at least made some head way. But truth be told, I've never been more uncertain. I've never been so confused about what it means.
While couples around me are hooking up, shacking up, tying knots and popping out little humans - I'm left questioning my single existence. I see them and all I feel is the eagerness to get on the bus and move on towards destination Domesticated.
While couples around me are hooking up, shacking up, tying knots and popping out little humans - I'm left questioning my single existence. I see them and all I feel is the eagerness to get on the bus and move on towards destination Domesticated.
Some marry for money, some for comfort, some for their years of companionship, others for family, a growing number for surprise pregnancies, a handful for (in the moment) love and a tiny percentage for true love. But who am I to judge who's love is true, real or genuine that will survive the ups and downs of this life?
I want to know that someone wants to love me till my dying day - even though I know the chances of that happening aren't in my favor - being 25. I want children that are my own, to give all my love to them - because I have so, so much to give. But, I don't even have a boyfriend.
'Don't worry' my friends tell me, 'you'll find someone in time'.
Only Time can prove the pros or cons of our investments and everything we consider dear. And since Time is both my ally and enemy, it's hard for me to just depend on Time as my way of measuring My Life. Yet I feel it knocking at my door every other day like a desperate salesman. He just wont leave me alone because with him he brings Insecurity, Ticking-Ovaries, Growing-Old and Loneliness. So I let them hang out in the living room of my mind and we have long chats together before Youth turns up and gets them all to leave - for today. But I know they'll be back soon enough and that I can't depend Youth, because thats definitely not forever.
Only Time can prove the pros or cons of our investments and everything we consider dear. And since Time is both my ally and enemy, it's hard for me to just depend on Time as my way of measuring My Life. Yet I feel it knocking at my door every other day like a desperate salesman. He just wont leave me alone because with him he brings Insecurity, Ticking-Ovaries, Growing-Old and Loneliness. So I let them hang out in the living room of my mind and we have long chats together before Youth turns up and gets them all to leave - for today. But I know they'll be back soon enough and that I can't depend Youth, because thats definitely not forever.
My struggle with all these guests are that they're never going to go away and Youth is already getting weaker by the months. I've already dragged Youth around with a backpack to many a places and it's tired. It wants Heart to find Love and walk me down the isle and say goodbye. Setting me off in directions of different kinds of adventures closer to home. Home - is where the heart is. And if Heart is totally MIA, then how can I know where home is?
Do you understand what I'm saying?
....me neither.
Now, do you understand why I'm so confused?
Now, do you understand why I'm so confused?
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